Oofki.Net

It will not be shut down for as long as I am living, but I will only be making one more post after this and it may not be for awhile.  I came to the realization today that the most of the content I wrote on here was not only my actual thoughts transformed directly into poetry and writing, but it also captures a lot of my struggle just through the mood changes from writing to writing.  I feel as if I was ever more blatant as an entirety I would have been diagnosed with manic depression, no questions asked.

I am over it, I am done.  Not quite, but I am getting there and I feel like I am taking a positive step forward almost every day now.  I spent years with my illness and most of it really was trying to get out of it.  Fighting something so massive for so long takes and ineradicable amount of strength out of you though.  And probably worst of all, if I didn’t have this recent push, a bigger push then I ever had before then I probably would have ended up stuck for several more years — if not longer.

I think I figured out where my life went to shit, but I still need more time to be certain.  I am actually happy that I can have the courage to write this so early after coming to such epiphany if that’s the closest thing to call it.  Mostly because it is raw, it is pure like all of my thoughts when I wrote all of these posts.  Some of it is actually scary, because there are a few things I don’t remember writing in there.  I remember almost everyone except a few.  It makes me feel like I was in my lowest those times, so I can really recognize the patterns when I can attach them to what I was going through at that time.  And because I wrote the way I did, I think anyone can recognize it really.

I do not wan’t to explain what correlations between what I wrote and how I transformed it.  I am not doing this for need of privacy, I just think it can be read like a story and I would like it to stay that way.  Only because I believe in free thinking and I believe it would teach a better lesson if it were to be interpreted then being told 100% literally, the lessons are the same no matter what the fine details were when being applied.

I guess the only other thing to do is explain how I turned my life around, what I really did.  But that will have to be another post, my last one.